Mom fears -- we all have them to some degree. But there is nothing
quite like the power of the fears of a new mom. Even simple baby care tasks can
seem scary and intimidating. It can be crippling. When I talked to other moms
about their biggest fears when it came to baby care, I was thankful I wasn't
alone in my greatest concerns. The most common worries are warranted, but
thankfully we also have solutions to take the edge off.
Did you know some moms carefully bite their own baby's fingernails
because they're too freaked out by the nail clippers? And that anticipating
baby's first bath -- a typical rite of passage -- can fill some moms with
dread? For others, the first time taking a newborn out into public is stressful
instead of exciting. Protecting our tiny, vulnerable children is part of being
a mom, of course, and because we love them so much, we sometimes can't help but
worry every step of the way.
These are some of the greatest fears moms have when it comes to newborn
baby care. And some helpful advice for making these seemingly scary firsts feel
safer. With some clever hacks and tips, doing them will be like second nature.
And it'll become very clear that any moms out there are most definitely
not alone if they've got fears of their own.
01/10
Clipping baby's nails
When talking to moms about cutting baby's nails, I usually get the same
reaction -- there was fear involved. "I couldn't handle putting anything
sharp near my daughter's finger, so my husband ended up biting her nails off
instead," Jennifer D. of Brooklyn, New York, said. Jamie S. of Dothan,
Alabama, said, "I just peeled them off." Those options aren't for
everyone, though.
"I was so worried about cutting my baby's nails. I had my husband
do it when I was breastfeeding," Kara Y. of Towson, Maryland, said. This
could work great when bottle-feeding or anytime the baby is in a relaxed state. You
can also try slowly cutting nails when the baby is asleep ... if you don't mind
risking a wake-up.
02/10 Giving
baby a bath
Once you get the hang of baby baths, they can be a really fun and
soothing time, but there's something about that first bath that makes new
parents worry. Babies are slippery when wet and the bathtub and sink are hard
surfaces. (Risk alert!)
This is why many choose to go the way of the sponge or washcloth in a
very shallow water-filled baby tub. "I cannot recommend the sponge-mat
more for baby's bath," Jennifer Z. of Amsterdam, Netherlands, said.
"Before I had that, I was terrified of bathing my kid. A friend told me
about it and now I like to tell everyone." This little mat -- or even a
towel -- can go under your baby in a tub or large sink. It's the perfect
solution to be able to wash the baby without worrying about him or her slipping out
of Mom's hands.
03/10 Caring
for the umbilical cord
Some parents think of caring for the umbilical cord as no big deal;
others ... not so much. "I was so worried it was going to fall off before
it was time ... and that I wasn't keeping it clean. It's such a weird
thing!" Becca S. of Brooklyn, New York, shared.
If this sounds like you, you are not alone. In this case, you need to
do nothing. Nature will take its course and the stump will fall off about two
weeks after birth. In the meantime, keep diapers from rubbing on it -- most
moms suggest folding down the top of the diaper. "I ended up carefully
folding down the front of the diaper before securing it," Becca said.
"And, I made sure to keep the area clean and dry, without obsessing too
much."
04/10
Changing the baby's diaper
"I've never changed a boy's diaper before I had my son. I didn't
know how to properly clean down there at all," said Jennie E. of Suffern,
New York. So many of us can relate! As for girls, quite a few moms noted they
had to stress to their partners when cleaning their daughter that it's always
"front to back"!
Newborn babies are so tiny and so fragile that even changing a diaper
gets some of us rattled. The common fear is how to lift the baby to slide the
diaper underneath. Kim D. of Portland, Oregon, said, "My baby was a
preemie and I was really worried about lifting his tiny legs up to slide the
diaper underneath."
Babies certainly are fragile in a way (we all are), but a gentle lift
holding baby's calves won't hurt the little one.
05/10
Putting baby to sleep
Because the baby has lived inside
Mom's womb for around nine months, sleeping without a baby near is a concern many
mamas have. The greatest concerns the moms we spoke to have to include What if she cries and I don't hear her? What
if he rolls over? What if he feels I left him all alone? What if she needs me
and I'm in the other room?
"I was so worried about my
baby rolling over and suffocating. I think I read way too many articles that
scared me," Jackie M. of Orange, Virginia, said. "Everything
involving sleep and my baby freaked me out."
The best answer is to trust
your mom instincts. "I pop in my baby's room when she naps more than I
should -- she's always just fine but it helps calm me to check," Kristin
A. of Port Washington, New York, said. And be sure to follow safe sleep guidelines.
06/10
Taking baby outside for the first time
The elements! The smog! Pollution! Noise! Germy strangers wanting to
peer into the stroller and touch your baby! There are so many things to contend
with when taking the baby out into the world for the first time. All these fears
are completely understood and shared by many. Jennifer D. of Brooklyn, New
York, said, "Because I live in the city, I wasn't only worried about
pollution and loud cars and trucks, but about crossing the street. With a baby,
suddenly everything felt harder and scarier to do." We agree it's all a
bit harder and scarier, but still worth it all.
Moms can cover the stroller with a light gauze or muslin blanket that
still allows for airflow but creates a little barrier for pollution. It'll
keep the strangers from peering in, too. Moms may also want to wear their baby,
which can be comforting and also deter others from getting too close.
07/10
Letting someone else hold your baby
There is that moment when someone else wants to hold a mom's baby -- a
family member, a dearest loved one even -- but something strikes Mom's core
and she thinks NO! No one can hold my baby but me! The fear is real. Most moms
we spoke to worried about something when it came to someone else holding their
little one -- the responses ranged from someone not holding the baby properly or
supporting his or her neck to concern that the person wore too much perfume,
used synthetic detergents, or was a smoker. "My mom smoked," Theresa
W. of Astoria, New York, said. "That made me worry the third-hand smoke
would hurt my baby."
These are valid concerns. Theresa's solution was to wrap the baby in a
blanket or swaddle prior to letting her mom hold her. Julie O. of Rosendale,
New York, said, "It calms my nerves to sit next to the person holding my
baby. This way I'm right there if something goes wrong. Excessive? Maybe. But
it helps me."
08/10
Driving in a car with a baby
"I'll never forget how terrified I was driving home from the
hospital with my baby in the car for the first time," Marla M. of Hoboken,
New Jersey, said. "Every bump felt like a crater and all the cars seemed
to be driving recklessly (even though they weren't). My husband was also
fearful of driving over 40 mph."
Every mom we spoke to felt the same way the first time baby was in the
car ... and many times after. One way for moms to calm their fears is to get a
car seat check by a certified expert, making sure their little ones are
properly secured so they are the safest they can be.
09/10
Feeding baby
It doesn't matter if a mom is breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, or both --
feeding the baby in any way can cause anxiety. Moms worry if the baby is eating enough,
too much, or if they will choke. "I was really worried about how much was
coming out of the bottle even though I had the slow flow nipple," Kristin
A. of Port Washington, New York, told us. "I think I checked it a ridiculous
amount of times," she added. Checking it certainly isn't a bad idea, and
you can pay attention to your baby swallowing to make sure she's doing it at
the right place.
10/10
Leaving baby with anyone else
New parents need and deserve a little time to themselves (or to go to
work), but that means someone else has to watch the baby. Not an easy thing to
figure out. Whether a mom is hiring a sitter, choosing a daycare, or even
dropping off baby with in-laws, leaving the baby with anyone else can be daunting.
Jennifer S. of New York, New York, just can't leave her little one with
anyone but close friends or family. "I'm just too worried about a
stranger, no matter how many references we check," she said. Many moms
have left a detailed list with information and that has helped them to feel
better about leaving; others call to check in often to calm any fears.
"I'm eight years into motherhood and I still worry when I leave my
kids with other people," Cheryl T. of Brooklyn, New York, said. Worry
certainly is a permanent part of parenting.
Source: https://thestir.cafemom.com
Photo by Julie Johnson on Unsplash
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